Editorial

by Barbara Benedetti Newton, November, 2009

When I was invited to write this editorial, I enthusiastically agreed. At that moment, on that day, I felt full of wisdom and advice. But, remember the saying by Thomas Jefferson, “Never put off till tomorrow what you can do today?” Well, I should have started typing right then because in the weeks since, I have discarded one topic after another.

First, I wanted to write about why we paint. It is said that through creative expression we clarify and make distinct who we are while filling a need to communicate or express emotion. I soon realized that to fully explore this subject - the time it would take for me to write about it and for you to read it - would be time we could both be painting. I suspect the reason we paint is slightly different for each of us. For me, I paint because there is a void in my life when I don’t.

Then, I thought about addressing how we know when we’re finished with a painting. One of the books I’ve been reading is titled, On Becoming an Artist by Ellen J. Langer. In her book I came across a story about a scene in the movie Pollock where a Life Magazine reporter asks Jackson Pollock how he knows when a painting is finished and Pollock responds, “How do you know when you’re finished making love?” Um…well…for me, a painting is finished when I’ve said what I needed to say.

And then, there is always the question of what to paint – subject and style. Changing subjects or styles is sometimes a matter of evolution/growth of one’s work - moving on from a subject that has been explored to exhaustion. If we follow our hearts, we will be painting exactly what we need to be painting at any given time to progress as our unique selves. What to paint was a hot topic at our house recently.

A few weeks ago, my husband, Jay, sold the inventory of our business and accepted a job with a Seattle company. No more purchasing, accounts payable, or accounts receivable duties for me, I was free to paint full time again! Brimming with excitement about the possible growth of my art both in style and substance, I was just getting into my new book, The Art of Richard Diebenkorn, when Jay brought home a couple of old apothecary bottles.The elderly father of a friend was closing his pharmacy; these bottles sat on a glass shelf in the pharmacy and represented a lifetime of memories. Jay told his friend I would paint a picture of these bottles.

Needless to say, there was an exchange about committing me without asking first. The ensuing discussion finally came down to the fact that Jay was disappointed that I wouldn’t “just do it” and I was disappointed that he didn’t “get” what I do in the studio all day. I was surprised at the passion I felt as I stated the reasons why I would NOT paint those bottles: “I’m not just painting, I’m being. I do that [be me] by painting what I have to paint to say what I have to say at that particular time and in a specific way. If I were to paint on command, that would be called a job. If I’m not painting for myself, but instead, for a market need, then I’m not being true to myself. And, if I’m not being me, who am I?”

Barbara Benedetti Newton,"Bottles"

In the end, I painted the bottles because it would make others happy. And in doing so, there were benefits for me too. If I believe that we paint exactly what we need to be painting at any given time to progress as our unique selves, then it was time for me to paint bottles – or anything that would prompt the surrounding discussion. I had the opportunity to get to know myself better. I now know without a doubt, that of all the roles I fill in a busy life, at the core of me I am an artist - and one with a passion for what I do.